Sarah
by NetKat
Summary: Rewrite of "Sarah." This is a sequel to "Love." Sarah deals with her feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

**October 6, 2010**

Yesterday was the most amazing day of my life. A man...a god...fell from the sky. Like an angel.

Loki. My fallen...whatever.

I'm sitting in my bed, writing in my diary for the first time in over ten years, drinking a glass of wine, and all I can think about is him.

He told me he'll come back. He promised me, and I have to believe him. Logic says that the god of lies is...well, a liar, so why do I believe him?

If he only wanted to use me for the day, why tell me he would come back?

Mischief? Maybe. Maybe he's watching from a distance, prepared to laugh at me while my life shatters along the cracks he made.

I doubt that, though. I don't think I'm important enough for him to bother with.

He made me feel important while he was here. Special. With him gone, I don't really know what to do.

He told me that I have powers of some sort, some ability to manipulate the world around me, but...I sure don't feel special now.

I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm sad. No room for me to feel special, I guess.

So tired. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight.

-Sarah

* * *

**October 20, 2010**

I'd like to say something here like, "I haven't been writing in my diary because I'm having trouble finding the time!" or "HE CAME BACK!" or maybe, "I met someone new!" No. Nothing like that. As if I could possibly replace him.

Truthfully, I've just been too tired. Everything beyond going to work and keeping myself alive has felt frivolous and unimportant.

I recognize this feeling. I should see a doctor, but what would I say? "I met a god, he promised me the world, then left me behind."? I'd be committed.

I could lie. "Nothing happened. I'm just sad," but then what's the point? I had their way shoved down my throat after I found Mom and Mark. It didn't help then, and I have trouble believing that it would help now.

It's something to keep in my back pocket, though.

I hope I can sleep tonight.

-Sarah

* * *

**October 31, 2010**

I love Halloween. It was my favorite holiday when I was a kid. I got to dress up and be someone else for the night. And candy. Lots of candy. I was always so proud to share my candy with mom.

It turns out, I like handing it out as an adult much more.

Halloween always feels magic. Now, it feels like the one night a year where I might turn a corner and come face to face with his vampire queen, or the shade of his frost giant father. I can almost see them all, larger than life...

But I know that's just silliness on my part. Still though, it's fun to pretend, isn't it?

Sometimes I pretend he's in the kitchen. Or the living room. Just around a corner. About to walk into the room. I can hear him whisper, "I love you, Sarah. When I finish here, we will be together again."

He's kind of an asshole in my head, isn't he? Never appearing, just around the corner, empty promises and unanswered questions.

Loki, where are you? Have you forgotten about me? Do you miss me?

I laugh at myself, now, to think that less than a month ago, I believed a god could love someone as broken and pathetic as I am.

I'm so lonely.

-Sarah

* * *

**November 2, 2010**

Christmas decorations. Ugh. UGH.

-Sarah

* * *

**November 24, 2010**

Bob invited me over to have dinner with his family tomorrow. I don't remember why, but... Anyway, I've been working for him for years, and he never bothered before. I didn't want to, but I accepted anyway. Getting out of the house is good. Plus I like turkey.

I'm bringing apple pie. I make a mean apple pie.

No kids this year...that's what he had said. I remember now. His wife would make a huge spread, and none of their kids would be there to eat, so if I wanted to join them... That was his reason.

Should I bring ice cream? Yeah. Yeah, I should bring vanilla ice cream.

-Sarah

* * *

**November 25, 2010**

I realized that my clothes don't fit right anymore. We got to the end of dinner, (which was fantastic,) when I realized that I didn't have to unbutton my pants. I was WAY over-full...but still, there was room. I must not be...eating...enough. I'm just not hungry.

I managed to avoid thinking about him for most of dinner...but I couldn't help thinking that he probably would have out-eaten the three of us, combined.

I miss him so much.

-Sarah

p.s. pie was. AMAZING.

* * *

Dec 5,201

too drnk. stori 2moro.

-S

**December 6, 2010**

I was so drunk last night. I'm not even sure how it happened. I stopped in at Bob's Eatery (Bob owns a restaurant, too) for dinner, and he was there, and his wife was there, and they sat me down with the bell boy, who happened to have just broken up with his girlfriend.

Bob kept filling our wine glasses, but I had a much higher tolerance than the kid, who couldn't have been more than 22. He started spilling about how Bob and his wife had been trying to get him to the bookstore to meet me for weeks... I laughed so hard.

Bob refused to take my money when I tried to pay, which was totally fine with me.

I was a little tipsy, and it felt pretty good, so, all bundled up, I hit the package store on my way home and got myself a bottle of wine.

Greg was there. He...actually helped me pick out wine. No mention of Loki. He asked me over, but I smiled and said no. Is he going to visit the bookstore again? I hope not. There was nothing there, no sparks, no heat. No anger. Not for me, anyway.

He was just some guy.

All I could think about was how much I missed my Loki. Yes, mine. I believe it because I have to.

But the more I drank, the more real that connection felt. So I kept drinking. I remembered that I didn't have work in the morning, since we're closed on Monday, so I kept right on drinking.

So drunk. I spent most of the today hung over. Awful.

-Sarah

* * *

**December 24, 2010**

Greg came in today. With a gift. (My favorite chocolate, of course.) I told him I was still seeing someone, but I could tell he didn't believe me.

I don't know what to do. He's being nice. I know it's an act, but I'm so lonely.

-Sarah

* * *

**December 25, 2010**

Merry fucking Christmas. Alone.

* * *

**December 26, 2010**

Gorgeous snow. Bob called, said he'd tell me when to come in again. It was nice of him. I'll probably hide in here, wait it out...watch the empty streets be empty.

Power is out, but it's ok. Fridge and freezer were nearly empty, anyway. I have plenty of candles and books to read.

I wish Loki was here. To help me stay warm.

-Sarah

* * *

**December 27, 2010**

Rereading The Wheel of Time series. Power still out. Too much time to think. Lonely.

-Sarah

* * *

**December 28, 2010**

Power's back. So depressed. Need to find something to do.

-Sarah

* * *

**January 1, 2011**

Happy new year! Just drunk enough! Whooooooo! Now to sleep!

-Sarah

* * *

**January 27, 2011**

I've been spending a lot of time at the bookstore, rearranging, shelving books. Only problem: I ran out of shelves.

Pulled out a book on building cabinets and such, and they had a bookcase plan. I showed Bob when he popped in, and told him I was pretty sure I could build some simple cases, and he wants to get me started on that tomorrow.

I'm actually excited. Excited! It feels good.

I still think about him all the time, but I don't wonder anymore. I don't have to convince myself. He's not coming back for me, but it's ok. I'll be ok.

Maybe he's dead. Maybe he's trapped. Maybe he realized how pathetic and human I am.

I hope it's that last one.

It's ok.

I'll be ok.

-Sarah

* * *

**February 14, 2011**

Fuck Valentine's Day. I hate you.

I almost had sex with Greg today, in the backroom, after the store closed. I'm not really sure what I was thinking.

Soul crushing loneliness, maybe.

He kissed me. I let him, happily, but it felt wrong; dirty. I asked him to leave. He called me some names then smacked me across the face. I felt that...thing...snap, in my head. I threw him into the wall...our wall...the one where Loki...

Anyway, Greg won't be back for a while.

-Sarah

* * *

**March 25, 2011**

I can't believe I thought I was ok with him never coming back for me. I found a black hair on my green fall/spring coat today and burst into tears.

I miss him so much.

But I believe he's alive, so that's something.

We'll see.

-Sarah

p.s. I dyed my hair green and it looks AMAZING.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Earth, April, 2011

Sarah looked around the bookstore. She had lost weight and had been sleeping poorly since Loki left her. Sarah's clothing, a black tank top and dark blue jeans, hung on her like the hand-me-downs and thrift store clothing she had worn as a child. She had dark, gray bags under her eyes. The green she used on her hair matched her converse-style slip on shoes almost exactly. Loki's departure had managed to accomplish the one thing her difficult life had failed to do: the sparkle in her eyes when she smiled was gone.

Sighing, she got up and walked to the back room. There were still a few boxes, but that was because she had run out of room on the bookshelves. There were also two piles of wood, cut uniformly, and one pile of pressed cardboard. One pile of wood had long pieces, the other had shorter pieces. There were a lot more shorter pieces.

Sarah grabbed the feather duster then went back to the front of the store. She opened the front door and kicked the door stopper into place. She started dusting off the tops of the book shelves. There was not much dust up there. Sarah had been doing everything she could around the shop in an attempt to forget about Loki.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" a man said from the entrance.

"Oh, hi, can I help you?" she asked, still holding the duster. She turned toward the man.

He was blond and clean shaven. He held out his hand, "Steve," he said with a goofy grin. He was tall, and very broad across the shoulders. He was also very well muscled. He had on tan, khaki pants and a dark blue t-shirt with tennis shoes.

Sarah forced herself to smile back. "Sarah," she said, switching the duster to her left hand and shaking the man's hand.

"I've got something of an odd request," Steve began. Sarah smiled and made a 'go on' gesture with her hand. "I'm looking for history books, spanning World War 2 to nowish. You...do you think you might be able to help me with that?"

"Are you a college s...ya know, it doesn't matter. Come on, I'll show you our history section," Sarah said, turning toward the back of the store. She was going to ask him if he was a college student doing a report, but she realized that she really did not care.

Since Sarah and Bob decided to let Sarah make new bookcases for the store herself, she had made three very sturdy cases. She was proud of her work. As they passed them, Steve inhaled deeply. "Smells good in here. Like..." He sniffed again, "Like wood. It's a nice, clean smell." He was smiling, trying to make small talk. Sarah appreciated the effort, wondered briefly if he would still be making it if she had not been wearing a tank top, then decided to give him a break.

"Yeah. I make bookcases in the back sometimes. It was the cheapest solution to the number of books we have and get in. See how it's a little cramped now?"

"I actually hadn't noticed," Steve answered, genuinely.

"Well, there used to be more room, but then I got everything sorted, and there was no where to put it all. Here's the history section," Sarah said, gesturing to a cluster of four bookshelves. "You know, the library might have a better selection."

"Yeah. Maybe some other time. It closed an hour ago," he told her.

"Ahh. Ok. Well, I'll be at the front of the store," she told him, turning away from him.

She turned to leave. Steve reached out and touched her shoulder. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

"No," she answered. "And please don't touch me again."

Steve jerked his hand back. "I'm sorry. That was rude."

"It's fine," Sarah told him. "Hang out as long as you want." Then she went back to the front of the store to continue dusting.

Shaking his head a little, Steve started looking at the history books. He had about 70 years of history to catch up on.

* * *

Sarah wondered if she should feel bad about the way she had treated Steve. She realized that under slightly different circumstance (a world where she had not fallen in love with Loki, for example,) she would have flirted and possibly asked Steve out to dinner. He was handsome and polite. He had an overly confident quality to him that she normally found appealing.

She moved on to the next book shelf. Slowly, Sarah made her way to the back of the store, carefully dusting as she went. No one else came in, and Steve stuck to the history section. Sarah peaked around the corner of a bookshelf at him, and found him sitting on the floor next to a small pile of books, many of them open, all from the World War II era.

Her natural curiosity trumping her politeness, Sarah snuck up behind Steve and looked over his shoulder to peek at the book he was reading. It seemed to be about the super soldier, Captain America. (Sarah vaguely remembered something about him from school.) Then he turned the page, and there was a picture that looked just like Steve. Under it, the caption said, "Captain Steve 'America' Rogers."

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed. Steve jumped and slammed the book shut.

She looked down at him. "Open that back up," she insisted, gesturing with the feather duster.

"But there's nothing important in it."

"Bullshit. Open that book back up."

"No."

"You're Captain America."

"No," he denied. Then, when he saw that she was not convinced, he sighed. "Don't tell anyone."

"Ha! I was right!" Sarah laughed, surprising a chuckle out of Steve. She looked at the clock on the wall over the door. "We close in about an hour, but I'm usually here late, so you can keep reading about your...uh...whatever, until I leave."

"You'll keep my secret?" he asked, surprised but hopeful.

Sarah shrugged. "Yeah, of course." She wondered briefly who she might tell, even if she had wanted to start bragging. She only came up with Sam, the security guard for her apartment building, and she suspected that he would be unimpressed.

"Nice hair, by the way," Steve told her.

"Thanks," she said, already falling back into her self, away from human interaction.

* * *

Loki missed Sarah more than he would have believed possible. He knew it would be hard for him to be away from her, but this was torture beyond anything the Queen or Laufey had put him through. It made his lonely childhood feel like practice. He hoped Sarah was in less pain than him, but not too much less. He needed her, and it was deeply important to him that she need him, too.

He had to admit to himself that he was having a fantastic time, even while Sarah occupied most of his thoughts. Thanos (the purple faced giant who had torn him away from Sarah) had shown Loki demensions and ancient magic that he did not believe he could have found on his own.

Loki had been with Thanos, training, since he had left Sarah's side. There was little time to rest and he was undernourished, but the knowledge...the power he was gaining... Loki smiled. It was almost time for him to pave the way for the invasion. His smile widened.

* * *

Steve picked up all the books he had spread out around him and put them away. He kept the one that his picture was in, more to keep others away from it than because he wanted it. He brought it up to the register, where Sarah was reading a book called, "The Children of Odin." After Sarah took the money for the book he wanted, Steve was hesitant to leave.

"That is an interesting-looking book," he offered, trying again to make small talk.

Sarah looked at him and shrugged. "It's alright."

"So uh, you wanna maybe grab dinner?" he asked. "I mean, since you're closing up anyway. Unless you have plans…"

Sarah was so lonely, and Captain America had a reputation for being an honorable man.

"Oh, no plans," she assured him. "Dinner is cool, but, uh, but just as friends. I'm…" she sighed. "Taken. I'm taken."

"That's alright, ma'am. I just figure two people alone in a city, might as well have dinner together," he told her, sounding very official, somehow.

Sarah laughed as she closed up the store. It felt good to laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Steve tucked his newly purchased book under his arm. "Where would you like to have dinner?" he asked Sarah after she had locked the front of the store.

Sarah thought about going to Daryl's Pizza, but she did not feel like getting a lecture from Tony about her weight. "Do you like Chinese food?" she asked.

"Dunno," he answered, simply.

"How could you no... Oh. Oh, I guess it probably wasn't around yet, huh? How long have you been... uhhh... you know? Back."

"Long enough for me to know that this is not the same world I left behind."

"World War Two was a long time ago," Sarah agreed.

Sarah started walking toward her favorite Chinese food place. "Come on, I'll show you one of my favorite places."

They walked next to each other in silence for a few minutes, and then Sarah said, "So what's the hardest thing you've had to adjust to? Or the most shocking."

"'Under God' in the pledge and 'In God We Trust' on the paper money," Steve answered, after thinking it over for a few seconds. "It was quite shocking."

"Oh, wow, those changes weren't made until the Cold War. I forget about that."

"I'm no atheist, but in the time I came from, God was kept out of the United States government."

"Wasn't it already on the coins, though?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess...but the pledge..."

"Yeah. Debate that with someone someday if you get a chance. People get angry. On both sides. It's...kind of fun," Sarah told him. She could not have possibly cared any less about either thing, but it was interesting that he cared.

"So what's your opinion of Stark Tower?" Steve asked, trying to continue their small talk.

"I don't really have much of an opinion," Sarah answered. "I think the self sustaining aspect is amazing." She paused, remembering something that she had read in her senior year History class. "You knew Tony Stark's dad, didn't you?"

"Howard. Yeah," he answered, nostalgically. "He was a good man. Knew when to take a risk."

"You probably miss him," Sarah said, feeling some sympathy for Steve.

"I miss everyone," he told her. He took a deep breath and let it out. "But I can't let myself live in the past. I'm here now."

"Yeah," Sarah agreed. "Probably easier said than done, though, sometimes, eh?"

Steve laughed. "Right now, that's most times."

Sarah laughed a little to be polite, but she felt sad for him. Everyone that he knew and loved was gone. "Can you talk about it, or...?" Sarah trailed off, not knowing how to finish the question.

"I don't mind talking about it," he answered. He was actually pretty relieved to have someone to talk to, but he was from a time where men did not express feelings like that.

Sarah slowed her pace. "It's just past this intersection," she said as they approached a crosswalk. The light turned and they crossed. As Sarah was stepping onto the sidewalk, she happened to look up just in time to see Iron Man. "Hey, look!" she said, excitedly pointing. "I want a suit like that."

Smiling, Steve said, "I bet a lot of people want a suit like that." Nothing that he had heard about Tony Stark made him want to get to know the man any better than he did.

They walked a little further, then arrived at the Chinese place. The doors were red with large, fake gold handles. Sarah reached for the door, but Steve was much quicker. He opened the door for her. "Not being expected to hold the door open for women has also been odd," he mumbled as Sarah thanked him.

She laughed. "Most women won't complain if you hold the door open," she pointed out.

Steve shrugged. In his time, you held the door open for women. Period. Now, people do or do not hold doors open based on how they happen to feel at the time. It was weird for him. He followed Sarah in.

The restaurant was about average size, but not very busy. "Sarah!" yelled a young, pretty Asian woman from the kitchen. "Sit, sit. Anywhere you want." The woman was coming out to greet them. She had long hair piled on top of her head in a bun, and she was wearing a red, Chinese-style dress. "And who is your handsome friend?"

"This is Steve," she answered. "Steve, Mey."

"Ah, always nice to meet a handsome stranger. Do you need a couple minutes?"

"Yeah, that would be great," Steve answered, settling into a chair and putting the book down in front of him.

"Ok. I'll be back."

"So what's good here?" Steve asked once Mey had gone back to the kitchen area.

"Everything. No joke. It's all great."

"Alright," Steve said, "uh, the picture of beef with broccoli looks good."

"It is! The picture actually doesn't do it justice," Sarah told him. She realized that she was actually looking forward to food for the first time in...a while. Since Thanksgiving, back in November? Yeah, she was pretty sure that was the last time.

When Mey came back, Sarah and Steve ordered their food. Sarah got cashew chicken. They both asked for water.

"Was there anyone special for you? Back in your time?" Sarah asked quietly after Mey left.

"Maybe. We never really got the chance to see, though," he answered.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Sarah said, with genuine sympathy. At least with Loki, she had known. Or...had she? She shook her head at herself. 'There was a spark. No one can deny that,' she settled on in her mind.

"I was, too. At first," Steve began, "but then I started thinking, 'what if things had been going well? What if I had left a wife and kids behind?' No, ma'am. Since this had to happen, I'm glad that it happened like this." He took a sip of water. "What about you? What's your story? Are you like, bound to someone? Betrothed? Something like that?"

She felt her eyes tear up. "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's ok. But no, nothing like an arranged marriage. Nothing at all like that."

* * *

Loki stepped into the circle of light, holding his new scepter. He got on one knee, then reached out to the Tesseract, calling himself to it. He felt the world shift, and he knew that he was on Midgard. He smiled, then, and looked up to take a quick headcount. Not many people equipped to fight him. Good, because the trip had taken its toll on him.

Loki smiled.

"Sir, please, put down the spear." Loki looked at his spear. He fired an energy ball toward the man who said it, a man he recognized from his trip behind the mirror.

There was a short, but bloody altercation. Loki used the staff's power to take a few allies, including Professor Selvig. They commandeered a truck and escaped, with the Tesseract. Once they were clear of the facility, Loki told the driver, Clint Barton, which direction to head.

Then he closed his eyes and thought of Sarah.

* * *

Steve watched Sarah struggle not to cry. He had no idea what he could say to make her feel better, but he badly wanted to help. He stayed silent, choosing instead to hand her his napkin.

"Thanks," she said, accepting it gratefully. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes. "It's just a big, messy, complicated...mess."

Making a mental note not to bring THAT up again, Steve smiled reassuringly at the woman across from him. She was odd, but seemed to need a friend as much as he did. He was pretty odd himself.

They made light small talk over dinner. Sarah shared her food with Steve, who thought everything was excellent. "Totally worth being frozen in ice for 70 years," he said after having his first bite.

* * *

Steve insisted on walking Sarah to her apartment, which was nice. It was not a long walk, and it was good to have company.

"Now you know where to find me," Sarah said, meaning it as a friendly gesture.

Steve nodded and took a step back. "You have a good night, ma'am."

"Thanks. Good night." Sarah opened the door to her building and went in.

"Sarah! Who was that handsome man?" Sam, the friendly, elderly security guard asked as she walked in.

"Just a friend," she answered, tiredly.

"What's his NAME?"

"Steve. I'm really tired, Sam."

"Alright. Goodnight, Sarah."

"'Night, Sam. Hey, do you want my leftovers?" she asked, remembering that he usually ordered take out.

"Sure smells good. What is it?"

"Uh, cashew chicken and an egg roll. Mey tossed in a container of white rice, too."

"I'd really appreciate that, if you're not going to eat it."

"It's all yours," she said, walking around to the back of the security booth, where Sam opened the door and took the food-bag from her.

"You sure you're not going to eat this, Sarah?" Sam asked, concern clear on his face.

"Eh, pretty sure. I'd rather you ate it than risk it rotting in my fridge," she told him.

"Well, alright, then," he said, torn between letting her keep it and saving the money on dinner. His frugal side won. "Thank you again."

"No problem. See ya later," Sarah said, walking toward the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Sarah opened her eyes and smiled at the room around her.

She shot a power blast at the man who talked to her.

People were shooting at her, but the bullets did not harm her. She stabbed someone… The bullets stopped. She jumped, flipped, landed...blood. She could smell blood. Chaos. This is what she was born to do. To dominate. To stand over others.

"You have heart," she said, but it was not her voice, it was Loki. Blue. BLUE. BLUE!

"BLUE!" Sarah screamed as she woke up, sitting straight up in her bed. She took deep, slow gulps of air, trying to catch her breath. She was a sweaty mess, and her covers were a tangled heap, mostly off the bed. "Loki?" she whispered. She got out of bed and walked into her kitchen for a glass of water. The rose pulsed, bringing a half-smile, followed by a confused frown to her lips.

"What are you doing?" she asked it.

Even though it was hours before dawn, Sarah knew she would not be able to get back to sleep. She started her coffee pot, then turned on the shower. She thought about her dream, letting the hot water wash away some of the weirdness of it all. The more she thought about it, the more sure she was that she had somehow been inside of Loki's head.

'Is he always so ruthless?' she wondered to herself. Sighing, she started working her shampoo into her hair. 'If he's back, why isn't he here,' she wondered, sadly.

* * *

Loki woke up with a start. "Sarah?" he whispered. He could have sworn he heard her call his name; whispered from just out of sight. He was still in the back of the pickup truck.

During the time he had been training with Thanos, Loki had been occasionally astral-projecting himself around Earth, collecting enemies of S.H.I.E.L.D. to work with him. The temptation to see Sarah had been strong, but he had resisted. He did not want Thanos or the Chitauri to know about her, and the Chitauri watched him very closely while his body physically occupied their realm. He knew they had some ability to watch his mind, so he stayed away from her.

He tapped on the glass separating the cab from the truck. Prof. Selvig opened it. "Open the briefcase. Look into the cube. Both of you."

Barton pulled over to the side of the road as Selvig popped open the briefcase. Loki leaned back and smiled as both men longingly let out a sigh. "Do you understand?" he asked them.

"Yes sir," they answered in unison.

"Good. Hold the briefcase so I can reach it," he told Selvig. The professor did, and Loki reached into the briefcase, enjoying the pain as it started trying to cook the flesh on his hand.

"You know where to go now, yes?" he asked Barton.

"Yes," Barton answered.

"And you know what to do when we get there?" he asked Selvig.

"Oh yes. It's amazing. Yes," Selvig answered.

Loki nodded, then turned to the Tesseract. He drew a little of the power that it generated into himself, rejuvenating his lifeforce. The bags disappeared from around his eye and his color returned to his lips. He took a little extra for fun, then told Selvig to lift the briefcase to the window again. Loki put the Tesseract back and Selvig closed the briefcase. Selvig then shut the window and stared straight ahead, already incorporating the knowledge that the Cube had given him into his new plans for the portal generator.

Feeling energized from the power of the cube, Loki closed his eyes and created an image of himself sitting at Sarah's kitchen table. He poured himself into the image, so that he could hear the shower running and smell the coffee brewing. Not much had changed since he had left, six months ago.

He was happy to see the rose he had made her sitting as the centerpiece on her table.

* * *

Sarah was rinsing the soap out of her hair when she felt a sudden...something, in her house. She finished rinsing, then turned the water off and grabbed her towel, wrapping it around herself.

She opened the door to her bathroom, and sitting there, at her kitchen table, was Loki. "Am I dreaming?" she asked, not expecting an answer.

Loki smiled his own unique and charming way, and Sarah knew he was real. "No, your smile is never so beautiful in my dreams," she told him.

"Ah, my Sarah. I can't stay long, and I'm not physically here, but I had to see you again." He paused, the look on his face becoming... hungry, was the word that came to Sarah's mind. "I would love to tear that towel off of you," he told her.

Shrugging, Sarah let the towel fall. Loki saw, then, how hard their time apart had been on her, how much weight she had lost in the time he had been away. He almost called the invasion off. He could take her and run. From Thanos. Forever. That was no life to drag Sarah into. He had to make it seem like he was trying his best to win.

"You're beautiful," he told her, meaning it.

Sarah covered the scar going from her belly button to her hip. She was still very self concious about it.

"I might be able to take care of that for you, if you want," Loki told her, gesturing toward the scar. "I've learned so much since I've been gone."

"Now?" Sarah asked, eyebrow raised.

"Maybe," he answered, tilting his head to one side. He stood up and held his hand over Sarah's belly, where her scar was. It faded, then vanished.

Gasping, Sarah brushed her hand over where her scar had been. "Is it...is it really gone, or is it an illusion?"

"I am not really sure. Magic...it is...unpredictable sometimes. I think this is real, though. This was...different, somehow. Almost like I was leading you through healing yourself. Does that make sense?"

Sarah furrowed her brow. "Yeah, it was weird...," she agreed, trailing off. She traced her fingers along where her scar had been. "Thank you," she said, looking sadly at him.

They stared at each other, awkwardly, wanting to talk, and hug, but unable to choose a place to start.

"When will I see you again?" she asked, suddenly.

"I wish I knew." The pain on his face was genuine.

"Ok," Sarah said, believing him. "Can you tell me anything? At all?"

Loki thought for a minute. "Do you trust me?"

It was Sarah's turn to think for a minute. Nodding, she answered, "Yeah. I trust you. Now." Loki furrowed his brow at her. "Six months is a long time to wait for someone you only had a day with."

He nodded. "Is there someone else?" he asked her, trying not to panic.

Sarah laughed. "How could there be? After you, who could possibly measure up?"

"Flattery?" Loki asked with a smirk.

"Truth," Sarah answered, shaking her head.

Smiling, Loki took a deep breath, then said, "I am burdened with glorious purpose, as I told Fury. I have been given an army, and instructed to take over Earth, and rule it. The price for the army is a Cosmic Cube called the Tesseract. It's got a few other names, but the important thing is that once I rule Earth, Thanos gets the cube and takes over the rest of...existence, I imagine."

"You're going to take over my planet?" Sarah asked in a small, childish voice.

Loki sighed. "No. No, I want Asgard, not Earth, but in order to protect you...your people, I agreed to do this so I could fail. The Chitauri are brutal. They would slaughter all of you without a thought." Loki looked down at his hands. "I can keep the number of dead down to the hundreds, maybe low thousands, rather than millions."

"All of this, to protect me," Sarah whispered.

Shaking his head, Loki said, "It's not so much, really." He laughed. "And I am having such _fun_. I was born for this, it seems."

Sarah smirked. "I saw that."

Tilting his head, Loki said, "Was that you, spying on my dream?"

Nodding, Sarah said, "Yeah. Total accident, but yeah. I...I don't have the stomach for what you're doing."

"I think you do," he told her, "or will. I think that with the proper motivation, you have it in you to be the most ruthless person I know." Loki turned his head. "I have to go," he said, "I'll come back when I have a chance. I love you."

"I love you, too," Sarah told Loki's fading image. She picked up the towel and wrapped it back around herself, taking an extra second to marvel at her unmarked tummy. She had taken more comfort in Loki's presence than she had realized, because now that he was gone, she wanted to cry again. She resisted. "I am so tired of crying," she said out loud.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Sarah sat at her kitchen table, still wearing only a towel, and drank a cup of coffee. She did not bother turning on the TV or the radio, and instead sat in the relative silence that was unique to apartment buildings. She could hear what she often thought of as the sounds of the building. People snoring, moving, babies fussing, the occasional yell, a TV on too loud... Life noises. Sarah did not find her usual comfort in them. She shrugged and snapped her fingers. Her stereo turned on. It was the only trick she had been able to develop in Loki's absence, and she still was not sure how she did it.

* * *

Loki had arrived at his underground base, and he was happy to see that everything was going well. "So, Agent Barton," Loki said as Professor Selvig left to finish construction of the portal machine, "do you know what it is to be in love?"

"Yes sir," he answered.

"Ahh," Loki said, "tell me about her." He looks Barton up and down. "Or him."

Clint Barton, the one that Loki's mind control could never touch, tucked way in the back of Barton's mind, watched in horror as he told the creature in front of him everything about Natasha Romanoff. He talked about her fears, her strengths, her weaknesses, who she was, how they met... Everything.

"She sounds _worthy_ of a man like _you_," Loki said, mockingly. He sent Barton away, then sat down to have his meeting with The Other.

* * *

Sarah stood up and got ready for her day. She pulled on a gray tank top, plain underwear, and a pair of dark blue jeans. She turned off the radio, grabbed her dark green sweat-jacket, slipped on her green basketball style shoes, and left for work, locking the door behind her.

The sky was still dark, but there were hints of color around the horizon. Sarah yawned. Maybe she would be tired enough to sleep on the cot in the back room before it was time for her to open the store.

As Sarah approached the door of the bookstore, she glanced at the small cracks in the road where Loki had landed the day she met him. She had done this every day since he left, sometimes smiling, sometimes crying. Little did she know, this was the last time that she would do that.

She unlocked the door to the store, went inside, then locked it behind her.

Sarah tossed her coat carelessly over the cash register, then went straight to the back room, yawning on the way. She set the cot out for herself, laid down, then set an alarm on her phone to go off an hour before her shift started. She drifted off to sleep almost instantly.

* * *

Loki's meeting with The Other had ended abruptly and painfully, but he did not much care. The Other suspected nothing, which was what actually mattered to Loki.

His base was bustling with people, all busy doing their individual tasks.

"Hey!" Professor Selvig said as Loki walked toward him. "The Tesseract has shown me so much. It's more than knowledge; it's truth." The professor was oozing gratitude.

Loki felt a very genuine smile light up his face. "I know," he told the smiling professor. "And what did it tell you, Agent Barton?" Loki asked, turning away from the professor.

"My next target," Barton answered. Simple. Cold. Even now, Agent Barton was resisting the peace and calm that surrendering to Loki's control would give him.

"Tell me what you need," Loki told him, enjoying the man's pathetic resistance.

Barton walked over to his bow, taking it out of its case. "I need a distraction," he replied, "and an eyeball," he said, snapping his bow open.

'Ah, perfect,' Loki thought, knowing that this was his chance to allow himself to be captured by the people who would try to stop him. "I will be your distraction. What sort of resistance can I expect?"

Agent Barton shook his head. "I'm not exactly sure, but Fury will probably try to activate the The Avengers."

"Tell me everything that you know about them," Loki ordered, and Barton, unable to resist, did exactly that.

* * *

Sarah woke up to the sound of her phone's alarm. She had slept soundly, which was very odd lately. She went about her usual business of getting the shop ready, and opened it on time. The last thing she did before sitting down to read was hang her jacket up on the back room.

Her morning was uneventful, as were the first few hours of her afternoon. She helped a few people, read a little, and cleaned up a few messes. Then, around 4:30, Daryl Jr came running in. He was 12, and he had on jeans and a black t-shirt, which was his usual outfit when he was working at his parent's pizza restaurant. "Miss Sarah! Miss Sarah! Do you have a TV in here?"

"No, DJ, what's up?" she asked, walking around to the front of the counter.

"Come with me!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the exit.

"Alright, alright, lemme lock the door," she said once they were outside. He let go of her hand only long enough for her to lock the door, then he grabbed it again and started running back to the restaurant. She had to run herself to keep up.

It was only a couple of buildings down, so they got there quickly. DJ pointed at the television that was behind the counter. Daryl and his wife, Amalia, were also watching from behind the front counter. On it, she saw a video of Loki, looking exceptionally handsome, walking with an ornamental cane. "Loki?" Sarah whispered, confused.

A security guard turned to stop Loki, but he took his cane and smacked the man as hard as he could on the side of his face. Sarah gasped. Loki walked through the screaming crowd, grabbed a man, and flipped him forward over some sort of stone table. He used some terrifying contraption on the man's eye, then looked up, smiling at the chaos around him.

'Should I really be marveling at how sexy he is?' she wondered, watching, barely managing to suppress her own smile. 'Am I a bad person?'

A female reporter's voice came on. "That was the security footage from just moments ago where a strange man attacked German scientist Dr. Heinrich Schäfer, in Stuttgart, Germany." She tapped her ear, then nodded. "We just received more footage of the strange man, now in some sort of costume, fighting our very own Captain America."

A grainy video, this time with Loki in regal, Asgardian clothes, fighting with Captain America. "Steve?" Sarah whispered in a voice so raspy that she barely recognized it as her own. When she saw Captain America throw his shield at Loki, Sarah fainted.

* * *

'Finally,' Loki thought to himself when Iron Man showed up, 'an excuse to surrender.'

He left his staff where it had fallen and shimmered out of his regal clothes, holding his hands up in surrender. He managed not to smile, but just barely.

* * *

Sarah came to pretty quickly, but the fight was over. DJ, Daryl, and his wife, were all sitting next to her. Daryl had taken off his apron, folded it up, and shoved it under Sarah's head. Amy had a wet washcloth pressed to Sarah's forehead.

"Ahh! You're awake!" DJ yelled.

"You scared us," Amy told her.

"Can you sit up, Sarah?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah," Sarah answered. Waving Daryl's hand away, she sat up on her own. "How did it end?"

"Captain America did alright, then Iron Man showed up and they caught him. Everything is fine," Daryl answered.

"No one got hurt?" Sarah asked.

"No one appeared to, but you saw the footage. It was grainy," Amy pointed out as she shrugged.

Sarah closed her eyes, then took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm ok." Slowly, carefully, she stood up. "See?" She took a step forward.

DJ said, "I caught you," obviously proud of himself. "I'm glad you're ok," he told Sarah, softly.

"Thank you, DJ. I have to get back now, though," Sarah said, turning to leave.

"Walk her back, DJ," Amy told him. She looked at Sarah. "You have to start eating more, Sarah."

Sarah opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it. Amy never budged once she made up her mind. "Alright," she said, trying to force a smile. "Thanks. And I'll have a snack when I get back to the store."

* * *

As they walked back to the store, DJ said, "I heard you," to Sarah.

"What?" Sarah asked. Her mind had been elsewhere.

"'Loki,' and 'Steve,' I think you called them," the boy said, softly.

"Oh. Uh. Can you keep a secret?" Sarah asked him, deciding to give him just enough of the truth to hopefully shut him up.

"Of course!" He answered, excitedly.

"They've both been in Bob's bookstore before," she whispered.

DJ's eyes widened. "Even the bad guy?" He whispered.

"Yes," Sarah answered.

"Did he hurt you?" DJ asked, eyes approximately the size of tea cups.

Sarah smiled. "No, no. Nothing like that."

The boy got excited. "Did you scare him off? Threaten to call the police? How did you get him to leave!?" he asked her.

Sarah laughed. "He just left, DJ. Do you really think that a tiny bookstore could possibly hold the interest of a...man like that?"

"Are there other men like him?" DJ asked, clearly terrified at the idea.

They had arrived at the bookstore, and Sarah took her time unlocking the door before she answered. "Like him? Not really. There are always men who want to rule others, but he is unique in other ways, I think."

"Ahh. Good," DJ said, looking relieved.

"Well, uh, thanks for the escort," Sarah told DJ, opening the door. "Go on back. I don't want your parents worried."

DJ nodded, then said, "Goodbye." As he walked back to the restaurant, he started imagining himself fighting against the bad guy. First he imagined himself as Captain America, using that awesome shield. Then he imagined himself as Iron Man, using his repulsor blasts.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Sarah finished the day at Bob's, then closed up and walked home. She bought herself a strawberry-banana smoothie from the McDonalds on the way. She got about halfway through it before getting to her apartment. Sam was not on duty, and Sarah did not know the current security guard, so she flashed her id before trudging up to her room.

When she got there, she noticed that the rose was still glowing, still pulsing like a heartbeat. She picked it up and kissed it, then she put it back into the small, decorative vase she had bought for it. Sarah dumped what was left of her smoothie in the sink, then tossed the cup.

She walked into her bathroom, plugged the tub, and started the water. She dumped some bubbles in. She grabbed a couple of scented candles from her kitchen and set them around her bathtub. She lit the candles, then took off all of her clothes. Gingerly, she stepped into the water. It was very hot.

After easing into the water, Sarah leaned her head back and thought about what she had seen. Steve fighting Loki. Loki as the bad guy. Sarah was pretty sure she watched him kill at least one man, possibly two, and smile while he did it.

'Am I drawn to evil?' she wondered, reflecting on the people she chose to have in her life. 'Do I attract evil? Should I be disgusted and horrified?'

She closed her eyes. "Am I evil?" she asked out loud.

"I doubt that," Loki said from the doorway, startling a yelp out of Sarah as her eyes shot open.

"What the holy hell are you doing here!?" Sarah asked, shocked.

"Ah, well, I had a few minutes, and I wanted to warn you. I need you to be as far from Stark Tower as you can be," Loki said, walking toward her.

"I saw you today," Sarah said, sitting up and looking at him, ignoring his words. "I saw how much fun you had."

He stopped walking and looked at her, pain clear on his face. "Have I lost you, then? Are you unable to accept me as I am, after seeing me do what I was made for?"

"No, I just wanted you to know. I saw, I understand. I also understand that it has nothing to do with you being a god, or being a frost giant, or any of the other things you are. It's you. You are Loki, you enjoy chaos, and you don't flinch when it's time to kill. I love you, and since that's all a part of who you are..." she shrugged, letting the words hang.

"There is little I would not give to be able to touch you right now. Thank you." He looked at her, then frowned. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he said before fading away.

Sarah splashed some water on her face, then looked around her bathroom. The first time Loki had appeared to her, he had removed her scar, so she knew that she had seen him. This time, however, during a hot bath, after the day she had...

She popped the plug and let the tub drain. Then she blew out the candles and left, wrapping a towel around herself before stepping out of her bathroom.

In her bedroom, she put on a simple, pink night gown with spaghetti straps. It went down to just above her knees. She also slipped on a plain pair of underwear. She climbed into bed, then looked up just in time to see Loki walk in. He was laughing. She sat up and waited for him to stop.

"I'm sorry," he said, still chuckling, "but Iron Man and my brother are having a brawl in the woods right now, and they left me on a mountain like I am unable to escape any time I want. They make it so difficult for me to look like I am actually trying to win."

Sarah smiled politely, but did not have anything to say.

"OK," he began. "I need you to be as far from here as you can get. As soon as possible."

"You're using Stark Tower for something."

"Yes."

"And you want me to run away."

"Yes."

"No," Sarah told him.

"No?" he repeated.

"No.".

"Why?" Loki asked, worry lines suddenly prominent on his face.

"Because I miss you. Because I want to watch. Because they're not going to just let you go on about your business when this is over," Sarah answered, her voice cracking on the last word. She was holding back tears, again, much to her annoyance.

"Sarah, please. I can't go through with this if I don't know that you're safe," he pleaded.

Sarah sighed, successfully blinking back her tears. "What would you do?"

"That's not a fair question," Loki said, annoyed, "I am a god."

Sarah crossed her arms, her large, green eyes looking into his expectantly.

Loki sighed. "I would be at the center of the action."

"I want to watch," she insisted.

Growling in frustration, Loki threw his hands up and started pacing. Then he jerked his head up. "They're coming back for me. I shall return. We are not done talking about this." Loki faded away.

Sarah smiled. She did want to watch, badly, but she also wanted to survive the whole thing. She was happy, though. It felt good that Loki worried about her. She fell asleep happy, for a change.

* * *

Fury had just left, and Loki was smiling. He was in the Hulk's cage. He could not have planned it better if he had been asked where they should imprison him. Still smiling, he sat on the bench and focused on Sarah. His image shimmered and appeared next to her bed. Knowing he had some free time, now, before anyone tried to bother him again, he switched places with his image. He was actually, physically, in Sarah's apartment, standing next to her bed, watching her sleep.

Her green hair lay spread out around her on her pillow, and there was a small smile on her face. She looked so peaceful and delicate that he could feel his heart swell in his chest. "Sarah?" he whispered, softly. She stirred a little, but did not wake up. Loki leaned over and brushed a strand of hair off of her cheek. "Sarah?" he called a little louder.

Sarah's eyes fluttered open and her smile widened. "Loki? Back again to order me around?" Her words were harsh, but her tone and smile were not.

Loki shrugged, returning her smile. "I was considering it."

Inhaling deeply, Sarah said, "You smell really good." Then she furrowed her brow. "Wait, how can I smell you?"

He brushed his index finger across her cheek.

"I felt that!" she yelled. "You're here! How are you here?!"

"I decided that it was worth the risk, Sarah. Our time apart has been nearly unbearable, and the time for my battle is nearly here." There was an odd expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked, sitting up and moving over so he could sit next to her.

"My brother, Thor," he answered, settling down on the edge of her bed. "I had not counted on him showing up. I didn't believe they would risk summoning the dark energy necessary to get him here." Loki sighed. "I did not want him involved."

"What, uhm...how much does that change?" Sarah asked, suddenly worried as she scooted out of her covers to sit next to him.

Loki smiled sadly, putting his arm around her. "Probably everything. I will now have to face Asgardian justice when this is over."

"More time apart," Sarah mumbled, then looked up. "That's it, right? We'll have more time apart."

"Possibly. If they catch me," Loki answered, smiling. "I think I can fail without being caught. They do not seem to take me very seriously, putting me in that green monster's cage."

Shaking her head, Sarah said, "I think they're probably taking the threat you pose as seriously as they know how. They've probably never dealt with a god before."

Still smiling, Loki said, "Thor should tell them, but he has never taken me seriously."

Sarah shrugged, then rested her head on his chest. "His loss. Being under estimated is usually a good thing, anyway." Sarah took a deep breath. "Loki, listen...I...uh...Greg…"

Loki stood up and looked down at Sarah with disgust. "You let him touch you?" he spat.

Eyes shiny with unfallen tears, she said, "I let him kiss me. I...wanted him to. I was so lonely...I missed you so much."

He turned away from her, then froze. "What's this?" He saw Agent Romanoff approaching his image, through the copy's eyes. "I shall return." He disappeared.

Sarah waited. She wondered where Loki was and what he was doing. He had mentioned something about a cage...she let the tears fall.

Still weepy, Sarah got up and went into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass and got herself some cold tap-water. She took a sip, then put the cup down on the table. She grabbed her pint of New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream out of the freezer, grabbed a spoon, and sat down at the kitchen table. She only had a few bites before putting it back in the freezer. Just as she was turning around to walk back to the table, Loki reappeared a few feet behind her.

"How could you?" he asked her, rage restrained just below the surface.

She turned toward him, anger clear on her face. "How could I? How could I what, exactly? How could I leave you, alone, with no contact, for six months, while I was off doing something you knew nothing about? Oh, wait, that's what YOU did to ME."

"No, you vile woman. How could you? With him? Again?"

"I COULDN'T YOU STUPID, SELF-ABSORBED ASSHOLE! YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU LISTENED TO ME!"

"I am not stupid," he said, glaring at her.

"YOU ARE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE ME FOR SIX MONTHS WITH NO WORD ON WHAT YOU'RE DOING OR HOW YOU'RE DOING, EXPECTING ME TO JUST FUCKING WAIT FOR YOU!" She felt a click in her mind, and accidentally flung Loki backward, through her bedroom doorway, with her mind.

Loki landed on his butt and started laughing. The laughter was completely devoid of any happiness. He drew Sarah to him, then threw her down onto her bed, all without touching her. "You need to learn better control." He was still laughing.

"Get out. Leave. Go. Don't come back," she spat, beyond anger. This was not how their reunion was supposed to go. "I can't believe I thought you loved me. Get out."

"Fine," Loki said, cold rage apparent on his face. He stood up and faded away.

Sarah covered her face with her hands and sobbed. "What have I done?" she asked no one. No one answered. She pulled the covers over her head, hoping to cry herself back to sleep.

* * *

'How could she?' Loki wondered, again, pacing in his cage. He spared a moment to smile at the camera that he knew was on him, then sat down with his back to it. 'How could she let that man touch her, again? After what we had?'

He replayed the conversation in his head. 'Was I out of line?' His features darkened. 'How dare she question my love?' he thought. He shook his head. 'If she only let him...I might owe her an apology.'

* * *

Loki reappeared in Sarah's room. He heard her sobbing and walked over her bed, where she was still crying under the covers.

"Sarah?" he said softly.

"GO AWAY!" she yelled, then sobbed more at how pitifully irrational she was being.

"No. I love you. Please don't ever question that again."

Sobs answered him.

He sat back down on the edge of her bed. "I owe you an apology, I think."

"Go away," she said, weakly. Irrationally.

"No," Loki said, taking the considerable effort required to keep his voice calm and even.

Sarah sat up and threw the blankets away from her. Her face was red and a little puffy, and there were tears and snot all over it. She was still crying. Loki was facing her, and she looked him dead in the eyes, intending, again, to tell him to get out. She started sobbing instead. "It was...just...a...stupid...kiss…" she said between sobs, covering her face with her hands. "And I...it was...disgusting...awful…"

Loki had decided two things when Sarah uncovered her face. The first was that he could not live without her. Even if she had let Greg…do more…he would forgive her, and they would move on, because he needed her. The second was that he had completely over reacted without giving her a chance to finish. She did not have to tell him, and he probably never would have known.

"I'm not leaving, Sarah. Worlds hang in the balance, but," Loki shrugged. "I'm not leaving until we talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," Sarah spat.

Patience exhausted, Loki felt his temper flare. He turned and grabbed her by her shoulders and squeezed. "You are an impossible little girl. You're the one who can't keep another's vile hands off of you, and somehow this is my fault? You try my patience, woman." He dropped his hands and stood up, pacing. "What right do you have to be cross with me, when you are the one who failed?"

Sarah watched him pace for a few seconds, then stood up and put her hand on his shoulder.

He stopped pacing and picked her up by her neck. "Do not touch me, vile creature. How dare you treat me this way!?" He yelled, tossing her back onto her bed. "I AM A GOD!" he roared. Sarah cringed away from him, lifting her hand to her neck. She backed away on her hands and knees until she slid down between her bed and the wall. "Now you remember to fear me," he said, disgust clear in his voice.

Loki sat on the edge of her bed with his back to her. "I came back to apologize," he told her, "for over reacting." He sighed. "I seem to have made things worse. I'll go, now."

"Please don't," Sarah begged, but as she lifted her head over the side of her bed, she saw that it was too late. He was already gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Sarah climbed back into her bed, but her tears seemed to have dried up. She tossed and turned a bit, then got up and sat on the couch, taking her blanket with her. She turned on her TV and wrapped herself up in a blanket cocoon.

* * *

Fuming, livid with himself for losing his temper, Loki concentrated on calming himself.

From a distance, the green beast roared, bringing a smile to Loki's lips. It had begun.

He knew that during the chaos, his staff would be unguarded, so he went to the laboratory and grabbed it, leaving his copy in the cage. It was a little weird seeing with both sets of eyes, but it was a useful and, in this case, necessary, trick.

Loki's cage opened, thanks to one of the men that Barton had brought with him. Thor walked through the entrance to the room just in time to see it happen, making Loki smile.

"NOOOOOOO," Thor yelled, charging at what he believed was Loki. The copy assumed a defensive stance, and Thor ran right through it.

"Are you ever NOT going to fall for that?" Loki's copy said as the soldier closed the cage on Thor.

Thor drove his hammer into the glass, making the cage shake. He also cracked the glass. Loki and his copy chuckled. "The humans think us immortal," his copy said, walking over to the control panel for the cage as the hired gunman stood, blocking the door. "Shall we test that?" he asked, knowing Agent Coulson was coming. Loki, the real Loki, had hidden when Coulson passed him. Coulson had been holding an absurdly large weapon.

Coulson knocked the soldier out and focused on Loki's copy, leaving his back to the real Loki. Loki allowed Coulson to charge the weapon, then stabbed him through the back with his scepter. Thor's scream of agony was almost as satisfying as stabbing Agent Coulson. 'No no, keep underestimating me,' he thought silently, allowing his duplicate to dissolve.

Loki walked, slowly and deliberately, to the control panel. Gesturing to his staff, he chuckled a little, smiling at Thor. 'Did he really think this cage could hold me? That it was keeping me tucked safely away?' He clearly had. Outloud, he said nothing. He opened the floor under the cage but hesitated before hitting the button to release it. Knowing that his brother would be no worse for wear, Loki hit the button, dropping the cage. Had he seen actual fear on Thor's face?

Even that hollow victory was diminished when Loki's connection to Agent Barton was suddenly severed. 'All according to plan,' he reminded himself, turning away and walking toward his exit.

"You're gunna lose."

Loki turned toward Agent Coulson, who he had expected to remain unconscious. He had been caught off guard, thinking that Coulson knew Loki's plan, but no, Coulson was just bluffing, trying to get a good shot at Loki with that absurd weapon he was holding. Loki allowed himself to be lured and shot, knowing that no lasting harm would come to him. It was worth it for the false sense of security he would give to the other side.

He had no trouble reaching his escape plane. As the doors closed, he smiled. Everything was going according to plan.

Except Sarah. "How long until we are at Stark Tower?" he asked the pilot.

"A little over an hour, sir," the man answered.

'Then there is time,' Loki thought to himself. He shimmered to Sarah's side, leaving his staff behind. He looked down at her as she slept, wrapped in her blanket. She was draped over the arm of the couch. He tentatively reached his hand out to her and rested it on the back of her head.

Sarah startled awake. "You're back," she said, sitting up, looking at Loki, rubbing her eyes. He nodded.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, then blurted, "I'm sorry," at the same time.

"I love you," Loki told Sarah.

"I love you, too," she whispered, reaching for him.

Loki put his hands on either side of her face. She practically melted into him, the blanket falling down around her waist. "I am so sorry," he said, leaning forward to kiss her. "Can you forgive me?"

Sarah nodded. "Always," she whispered as their lips met. He pulled away a little, and Sarah said, "Loki, I…"

"Shhh," he said, shaking his head. He put his finger gently over her lips, then ran his thumb along them. "I deserved everything you said. I know you don't have control over your powers. No more apologies." He leaned forward and kissed her again.

"I still owe you an apology," Sarah told him, standing up and brushing her nighty out. "Come on," she said, walking into her room. Unsure of what was going on, Loki snagged her blanket and followed her.

* * *

Loki and Sarah sat on the side of Sarah's bed, shoulders touching. Sarah had given him her diary. He read the last entry, then kissed Sarah on the cheek. "I see nothing in here that you need to apologize for."

"I doubted you," Sarah whispered, turning at him. "I doubted your love and I doubted your motivation and I doubted everything."

Gently closing the diary, Loki said, "You are human, and humans are shaped and moulded by doubts and fears." He put his hand over her heart. "You never doubted me here."

Sarah shook her head. "No. Never there."

"That is all I need from you," he said, taking his hand back.

Smirking, she asked, "Is that all?"

"Mmm, it's not all I _want_," he answered, leaning toward her.

"Can we? I mean, is there time?"

"Mmhhmm," he answered, kissing her.

They laid down next to each other. Sarah giggled. "I'm nervous."

"Oh?" he asked, sitting up and leaning over her, planting his hands on either side of her face.

She nodded up at him.

"We could just not," he offered.

Sarah shook her head. "I want to, I'm just nervous."

"I'm worried about hurting you," he told her, gently touching her hip bone, then running his fingers along her ribs. "You have no padding anymore."

"I'll be ok," she told him.

"Sarah," Loki whispered, sliding his hands up her torso, cringing slightly as his fingers brushed across her ribs. "You need to take better care of yourself," he told her, frowning.

"I'm fine."

"No," he said, "you're beautiful and I love you, but you are not 'fine'."

"I've been sad. I forget to eat. It's nothing," she insisted.

Shaking his head, Loki dropped the subject and started kissing her, which he found lead to much more pleasant things than arguing.

* * *

Snuggling into him, Sarah sighed contentedly. "Mine?" she asked him, softly.

"Always," he answered, kissing her forehead.

Sarah trailed her fingers across his chest. "When are you leaving me?" she asked him.

"Soon." He closed his eyes and looked through the eyes of his copy, sitting on the plane.

"How long?" it asked the pilot.

"About fifteen minutes, sir," he answered.

Loki's copy leaned its head back and closed its eyes, again appearing to be asleep.

"We land in fifteen minutes," he answered. "I should go back in ten."

Sarah nodded against his chest. "I'll miss you."

"And you will be deeply missed." Loki buried his hand in her hair. "Do not doubt me again, my love," he growled, gently pulling, then releasing her hair.

"I won't," Sarah whispered.

"Get some sleep," he said softly, kissing her forehead. "I will send someone in a few hours. Can I trust you to wait here, and stay away from the bookstore?"

Raising her eyebrow, Sarah answered, "You'll send someone?"

Loki smirked and shook his head. "I will send someone to keep you safe, so you can watch, stubborn girl." He brushed the back of his index finger along her cheek to take the sting out of the words. "Take a right out of your building instead of your usual left, ok?"

"Ok," Sarah replied, closing her eyes, enjoying the way their scents filled her bedroom. "I'll wait for you," she told him.

Laughing, Loki said, "I had no doubts."

"I'm surprised your ego fits in this room," she said, opening her eyes to look up at him. Loki chuckled.

He moved Sarah onto the other pillow and sat up. "I have to go, now," he said, his clothes shimmering back onto him. "I'm sorry that we don't have more time." He leaned over and gave Sarah a long, passionate kiss. "I will come back for you, Sarah. Whatever it takes." They kissed again, then he faded away.

Staring at the spot he had been in, Sarah ran her fingers over her lips, then stood up and stretched. She grabbed her blanket and curled up in it on her bed.

* * *

Sarah woke up slowly, stretching. The clock on her nightstand told her that she only had 45 minutes to open the bookstore...which Loki had pretty much told her not to do. She got out of bed. She could decide what to do in the shower.

Working the shampoo into her hair, Sarah decided she probably should avoid the bookstore. It would not be hard for her to explain that she locked up and ran as soon as the chaos started. She was fairly certain there would be chaos.

Oddly happy, Sarah got ready for her day like it was any other. She was not supposed to know that anything was happening, so she acted like she did not, but on the inside, she was vibrating. 'He loves me. I don't know how or why, but I can't deny it to myself anymore.' After tossing on and zipping her jacket, Sarah grabbed her rose, tucking it carefully into her pocket. It was the only thing in the place that was truly irreplaceable.

Sarah walked out of the building and turned the opposite direction of the bookstore, like Loki had asked her to do.

"Sarah?" a man called to her, stepping out of the normal foot traffic.

She nodded.

"Come with me, please." Sarah hesitated. "I'm supposed to take you somewhere safe," he said softly. Nodding, she turned to follow him. He lead her to a small car parked in a dark alley. He held the passenger door open for her.

"Where are we going?" she asked before getting in.

"A safe distance, so you can watch. I've been ordered to keep you safe, 'no matter the personal cost,' he told me."

Shrugging, Sarah got into the car. The man closed the door, then walked around to the driver's side. She took the rose out of her pocket and put it down on her lap, then laid her head back and closed her eyes, trying to relax. As usual, her thoughts were invaded by Loki.

Sarah smiled, welcoming the distraction.

* * *

Sarah had to hand it to the soldier she was with, the spot he picked at the top of a nearby (but not too nearby) skyscraper gave her an amazing view of the battle going on around Stark Tower. He even had a pair of binoculars for her. She left the rose in the car, not wanting it to get damaged.

So far, Sarah had been able to find Captain America and Iron Man, but no one else. She hoped to see Loki, but she did not expect to. The aliens... "What's the name of Loki's army, again?" she asked the soldier.

"The Chitauri."

"Thanks," she responded.

The Chitauri were merciless, and their forces were massive. Sarah understood why Loki feared for her safety, now that she had seen the army under his command.

She was not sure how long she had been watching, but she saw Iron Man rushing away from the fight. It was odd, so she focused on him with the binoculars.

He flew under a missile, catching and redirecting it before it could level the city. Sarah's eyes widened. He aimed the missile up, into the portal over Stark Towers. She watched him ascend and disappear into the giant portal that the creatures were pouring in through. There was a sudden, deep silence. Sarah pointed the binoculars at the street and watched as the entire Chitauri army fell, almost as one. She aimed it back up at the sky just in time to see the portal close, and a man shape fall through it.

It was Iron Man. He was not moving, but Sarah had a feeling that he was not dead... Not with that amazing suit of his. Sarah watched as the Hulk grabbed Iron Man out of the air, slowing his fall. She could not see anything else, but she was happy that Iron Man had not hit the ground. "It's over," she told her bodyguard. "Loki lost." She handed the binoculars back to the guard.

Sarah noticed that his eyes were still glowing.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

The soldier looked at Sarah. "You should go, now."

Sarah nodded. "Come with me to the car. I'll grab my rose and you can drive away."

The man nodded, then went back into the building. Sarah followed. They took the elevator to the bottom floor, then went out to where he had left the car. He got in the drivers seat. Sarah grabbed her rose off of the passenger seat. It was still pulsing with beautiful green light.

As soon as Sarah was clear of the car, he drove away.

Not sure where to go, Sarah decided to check on the damage around her. She walked back to her apartment. To her delight, her building was still standing, as were most of the buildings around it. Her neighborhood had been lucky. She kept walking.

The bookstore had not been so fortunate. It was utterly demolished; just a pile of rubble. Sarah sighed, but was not overly sad. She knew that Bob had been well insured. The bookstore would be rebuilt, almost certainly bigger and better than it had been before.

'But the backroom. The cot,' a voice whispered to her from the back of her mind. 'The wall,' it added. Sarah shook her head. "I'll make new memories with him," she whispered to herself.

Sarah felt like she needed to keep moving, so she did. She walked toward Stark Tower, thinking that it might be fun to see some of the damage. As she got close, there was yellow police tape surrounding everything. "That was quick," she said softly as she ducked under the tape. There was no one around to stop her.

Impressed by the destruction around her, Sarah kept walking. She stepped over and around rubble, but there were no dead bodies, which was good. Sarah was not sure she could handle seeing any bodies, but she also knew that she had to see the destruction that Loki caused, or allowed, or directed, or minimized, depending on your point of view. After seeing the Chitauri army, any needling doubts she might have had about Loki's motives vanished. If a truly bloodthirsty commander had been in charge, Sarah had little doubt that they would have won.

Looking up at the handprints that the Hulk had left in the building, Sarah amended her thinking. They might have lost, but the cost to humanity would have been far greater than a single part of a single city. Sarah had seen enough. She was bored now, so she headed home.

Loki was in the backseat of a car. Barton was driving and Romanoff was next to him. They seemed...happy. Fine with him. He was more annoyed about the high tech gag they have put over his mouth. He had enjoyed taunting them very much, but he did understand why they did it, of course.

He looked at Thor, who was sitting next to him, staring out the window. Loki leaned back and stared out his own window for a couple of seconds. He closed his eyes.

Then he sent an image of himself to Sarah.

After seeing some of the damage Loki's war had caused, Sarah walked home. She put rose back in its vase, undressed herself, and climbed into bed. She did not even bother with pajamas; she was beyond exhausted. She was asleep with seconds.

Sarah woke up much later. There was light coming in through the window, but she was not sure if it was the same day or not. Loki was sitting on the edge of her bed, wearing a dark green t-shirt with jeans. "Morning, love," he said when she opened her eyes.

Excited, Sarah inhaled deeply, then visibly deflated, disappointed. "You're not really here," she said.

Loki shook his head. "I want to be, but it seems like we're going to have to spend more time apart, after all."

Sarah nodded. She had expected that.

"I'm actually on my way to...somewhere. We are meeting with Stark, Selvig, Banner...probably other people. Thor is taking me back to Asgard."

"What will happen to you?"

Loki shrugged. "I don't know. They will not kill me; I am far too powerful for that. No, they will imprison me, surely. Beyond that, I cannot say, though we are long overdue for a counter-strike from the Dark Elves."

"Hmm?" Sarah asked.

Loki shook his head. "There are...factions on Asgard. The dark elves held Fandral, he's a friend of Thor's, prisoner for a while. We rescued him, but Malekith took it personally. With the bifröst destroyed and Asgard vulnerable, it's only a matter of time before they invade."

Sarah looked at him blankly, not understanding the importance.

"They will need me, Sarah. When the dark elves attack, Asgard will need me free. I will come for you then."

"You can't abandon your people when they need you."

Smirking, Loki said, "You would care more about people you've never met more than you care about yourself."

Sarah shrugged.

The lovers looked at each other, silently, for a few seconds, wanting very badly to touch each other. "It's time for me to go," he whispered sadly.

"I love you," Sarah told him.

Loki cursed. His copy morphed to look the way he actually looked, then Loki switched places with it.

His hands were cuffed in front of him and he had on some sort of muzzle. He also looked like he had been badly beaten.

"Oh!" Sarah squeaked, "My poor Loki!"

He blinked and the muzzle and cuffs lay on her bed, next to her. "I love you, too," he told her, opening his arms and turning toward her. She dove into them and they held each other tightly.

"Bring me the rose," he demanded. Sarah got up and ran into the kitchen. She snagged the rose and Loki kissed it, then handed it back to her. The light was brighter, somehow.

Loki stood up and grabbed her, then, and kissed her fiercely. Then he let her go. "I love you, so much." He blinked, causing the cuffs and muzzle to return. 'Goodbye,' his voice whispered in her head.

"Goodbye," she said out loud, feeling a tear slide down her cheek. He lifted his hands and wiped it away, then vanished.

Sarah stared at the spot he had been in for a while, then collapsed back onto her bed. She cried a little, but this time for Loki. He was, literally, going to jail to keep her safe. 'He's suffering for me,' Sarah thought to herself. She cried a little more.

Thirsty, Sarah got up, grabbed the rose, and poured herself a glass of water. She put the rose back in the vase, then sat down at her kitchen table. She noticed that, while dim, the rose was still glowing, even though she knew Loki must be gone. She started crying again, but it was like the floodgates opened. Before long, Sarah was sobbing in huge, hiccuping gasps. Her eyes stung and her head hurt, but still the tears came.

Still crying, she managed to get herself into her bed. She put the glass of water on her nightstand first, then climbed into bed, pulling the covers over her head. She did not fall asleep so much as pass out from exhaustion.

* * *

Sarah woke up that evening with a massive headache, and a very wet, sticky pillow. Sighing, she pulled the pillow case off and tossed it into her dirty clothes bin. Then she gulped down the entire glass of water. She brought the cup into the bathroom with her, refilled it, then gulped that down, too. She opened her mirror and rummaged around until she found some headache pills. She grabbed the bottle, shook out two pills, then put it back. Filling her glass a third time, she swallowed the pills.

Fighting the fog in her head, Sarah turned on the shower and got in. She washed herself mechanically, rinsed, got out. She got dressed, sat down at her kitchen table, stared at a wall, then got back up and left, locking the door behind her.

Sam was at the security desk, but Sarah just waved. She was not in the mood to talk. She decided to walk to her favorite Chinese restaurant.

Sarah entered the restaurant, walked up to the counter, placed her order. When Mey came out to try to talk to her, Sarah waved her away. "Not today, Mey, ok?" Mey looked worried, but left without pushing after making sure that Sarah had not lost anyone to the invasion, which of course made Sarah feel like she was going to cry again.

She sat at a table to wait, it suddenly became too difficult to hold up her heavy head. She folded her arms onto the table, then leaned forward and rested her forehead on her arms. Her green hair made a cloud around her on the table. She let a few tears fall.

The door behind her opened, then closed. "I would like the cashew chicken, please." It was a voice that she recognized. She did not pick up her head. She did not want to talk to him. She wanted to be left alone.

"Sarah?" Steve asked, standing across from her. She pulled her bottom hand out from under her arm and waved without lifting her head. "Hey, you mind if I wait with you?" Sarah shrugged, and Steve took it as a no.

"I saw what happened to the bookstore. Are you going to be ok? Do you think you'll have to find another job?"

Sarah shrugged again, still not lifting her head.

"How much of the battle did you see?"

"All of it," she whispered, hoarsely.

Misreading the reason for her unhappiness, Steve put a hand on her shoulder. "He's gone, Sarah. They're all gone. They won't be back."

Sarah felt something in her head snap. Her exhaustion forgotten, her headache gone, she stood up suddenly, flipping the table over at Steve.

"I told you not to touch me," she told him, quietly.

"I'm sorry," he said, holding his hands up defensively. He righted and started resetting the table. Sarah helped, feeling bad.

She still felt...weird. Whatever had snapped in her head had not gone away. "I'm sorry," she finally responded. "I'm just...I'm on edge."

Steve nodded, clearly thinking that he understood. "I think everyone is."

They sat back down at the table, waiting on their food.

"You eating here, or...?" Steve asked, tentatively.

"No, I don't think I'm eating here."

"Sarah? Steve? Food's ready," Mey told them from behind the counter.

Sarah was slow to get up, so Steve reached the counter first, but, ever the gentleman, he waved Sarah forward. She thanked him, paid, and left. She was moving very slowly, so she was unsurprised when Steve caught up to her.

"I'd like to walk you home, if that's alright, ma'am," he told her, still wanting to help if he could.

Sarah shrugged and kept walking. Steve matched her pace, carrying his Chinese food. "Would you like me to get that for you?" he offered, gesturing at her food.

"Nah," she answered.

They walked the rest of the way to her apartment in silence, Steve wondering what Sarah had seen to alter her so much. He kept wanting to reach out to her, to help her feel better, but she had made it abundantly clear to him that his comfort was not needed or welcome.

"What happened to you?" he asked abruptly, feeling rude. He did not understand why, but he badly wanted to know why Sarah had changed so much since the last time he saw her, and her apartment building was in sight.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Are you ok?" he asked, lifting his hand, intending to rest it on her shoulder, then pulling it back.

Sarah shook her head slowly. "No, but I think I will be." They arrived at her apartment. "Wanna come in?" she invited. "Pretty sure it's just a matter of time before someone recognizes you."

"I do believe you are correct," he said. "You don't mind?"

Sarah shook her head. "It's tiny, but come on up. Oh, uh, do you have a photo id?" she asked him.

Steve nodded, reaching into his pocket for his wallet as Sarah opened the door.

As they walked by the security desk, Sam waved them through, barely looking at Steve's id, which Sarah had expected.

Watching as Sarah unlocked her door, Steve wondered again what had happened to the poor woman since he had last seen her.

She pushed open her door, and waved Steve in. "Have a seat at the table," she said, plopping her container on the counter. She grabbed two plates, utensils, and two glasses. "Is water alright?" she asked.

"Perfect," he answered, staring at the gently pulsing rose on her table.

"You like my rose?" she asked as she placed the water, plate, and fork next to Steve.

He nodded. "Modern technology feels like magic to me still, sometimes."

Sarah threw her head back and laughed until her sides hurt. Steve ate his food slowly, not understanding the joke, but happy for the sudden change in her mood.

"I'm sorry," Sarah said, sitting across from him. "It's just that this particular piece has always felt like magic to me, too."

Steve nodded. "You weren't laughing at me?"

Smiling sadly, Sarah shook her head.

The two made small talk over lunch, then sat together on the couch. Sarah put on "How Stuff Works," and they watched a few episodes.

* * *

Sarah dozed off at some point and Steve watched her sleep for a few minutes, then stood up. "I should go," he said, waking her up.

"Hmm?" she asked, stretching.

"It's getting late. I should go," he told her.

"Oh. Ok. Thanks for keeping me company," she said. Sarah stood up and stretched, yawning.

"Lemme leave you my number," he said, looking around for a pen and paper.

Pulling out her phone, Sarah said, "Just tell me."

Steve did, then said, "Pocket phones," shaking his head.

Sarah chuckled. "Want me to walk you out?" she asked.

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks."

He left. Sarah sat back down, then stood up again. She opened her fridge, then closed it.

Sarah sighed.

She snapped her fingers, and her stereo turned on. She grabbed a book from her bedroom and laid down on the couch. 'Things could be worse,' she thought.

Sarah opened her book and started to read.

* * *

...to be continued


End file.
